The Spin Cycle.....

Hmmmm.....Glad to be alive...work has been getting me drained...but geeez...I enjoy every bit of it......Religion has taken the back seat again...I struggle to cling on to my master....the world seems to have got in the middle.....but no...none can drag me away form him...I feel so drained somedays that I can fall asleep in office, right there at my seat......and driving ha sbeen a dangerous voyage sometimes....but he has pulled me thorugh it all...Praise him !!!

Seeing and hearing things have made my world crumble apart...Families of loved ones falling apart....I sit and ponder as to why they can't understand the simple mechanism of family life......I want to put things together..make things right...but I can't.....

Temptation is leaving me alone....It's has become easier to say no to the hottest of em than to stay away from chocolates....Dating, playing around....nah...not worth it....I hope everybody realizes it sooner than later.....I've been blessed with the courage and strangth to wait for the King of My Castle......It's a crazy world out there...one lil trip and it will swallow you deep in to the pits of hell......I ain't ashamed..I'm just going through a phase..realising the right from wrong...making mistakes...sometimes mistakes that should never be made......ain't my fault...

Hmmmm.....As promised to write about sexual crime....just wanna point out about a couple of stuff which are so wrong...I can't biliv I actually approved them when I was in darkeness.....chee cheee..naughty Girl !!!

The biggest Crime - MASTURBATION / SELF PLEASURING

Arn't we on cloud number 9..hehehe....True..relaxes you...takes you away from all the frustration of not being able to either have a lover...or having a lover & not being able to have the so called act of "SEX".......It's a common thing..every body does it....It's done in private...why would it hurt anyone??? I had the same freaking questions....but none could give me a proper answer...until my Mentor explained...y and how to stay away....(It states no where that I experienced it...so don't assume...thank u)!!!

Ok...botton line...biliv in GOD...keep thy bodies pure 4 it is his temple....lust invites dark forces......I have failed...I have slipped...but one needs to pick one's self up again before rolling down the hill to the bottomless pit.....It ain't easy.....Young..tempted..restless souls we are...It's easy to go astray...its easy coz the world that is taboo is beautiful...Bring all your frustrations to the Lord....wait till he shows you your life partner....Falling in love with someone doesn't confirm anything.....One can't decide by himself who his or her soul mate would be...It's the mighty one's choice....He who bilivs in the mighty one shall never go wrong....Thats for sure.....

Crime No. 2 - Gay / Lesbian

Hot ??? I think NOT !!! It ain't a deformity....it's a decesion made by choice......I did sympathise em one time...but no..I say they need to change.....It doesn't seem right in God's Kindom.....Don't wan't to provoke n e one..so shall just stop at that....

Crime No 3 - BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance and Submission - Sadism and Masochism)

Quote from link - ----------------

http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html

"BDSM" is an acronym of "B&D" (Bondage & Discipline), "D&S" (Dominance & Submission), and "S&M" (sadomasochism). "BDSM" refers to any or all of these things, and a lot of stuff besides.

Tying up your lover is BDSM; so is flogging that person, or bossing that person around, or any of a thousand other things. BDSM is highly erotic, usually (though not always) involves sex or sexual tension; and is highly psychologically charged. One person (the "submissive") agrees to submit to another person (the "dominant").

Some people like to be submissive all the time, some people like to be dominant all the time; some people like to switch, being submissive one day and dominant the next.

Many people practice some element of BDSM in their sexual lives without even necessarily being aware of it. They may think of "S&M" as "That sick stuff that people do with whips and cattle prods and stuff," yet still blindfold one another from time to time, or tie one another down and break out the whipped cream...

All of these things are "BDSM." BDSM is not necessarily hardcore sadomasochism; it can be remarkably subtle and sensual and soft. Pinning your partner to the bed and running silk or ice cubes or rabbit fur over your lover's body qualifies as "BDSM" (specifically, of a variety called "sensation play").

Unquote ---------------

Ok...the above is a basic definition.........but why.....??? Is it so cool to not get turned on naturally.......Go figure...do a lil research for your self to find out whats right and wrong.......

The heat is driving me nuttzzz......I feel numb......and the man of my dreams not knowing that I've got the hots for him is dribing me nuttier....damn..he probably thinks I hate him to death.....Just like Judy Girl...hehehehe

Adios..and have a nice weekend.....

Intensity !!!

What Would Happen -(Meridith Brooks)

Electricity, eye to eye
Hey don't I know you I can't speak
Stripped my senses
On the spot
I've never been defenseless
I can't even make sense of this
You speak and I don't hear a word

Chorus: What would happen if we kissed
Would your tongue slip past my lips
Would you run away, would you stay
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust
Spontaneously combust

The room is spinning out of control
Act like you didn't notice
Brushed my hand

Forbidden fruit
Ring on my finger
You're such a moral, moral man
You throw it away, no question
Will I pretend I'm innocent

I struggle with myself again
Quickly the walls are crumbling
Don't know if I can turn away


Head is spinning.....the song says it all.....love is a crazy crazy game.....this song is one of em songs that explians about the very moment of getting sucked in to the flames....the very moment a woman falls....hmm......n e way...

I say again and again...Don't read my journal if it offends you, I really, honestly & truely don't intend offending n e one....I just write, may it be harsh, mild or absolute bunkum....I write what I can't say...what I can't express....I hate the thot of arguing face to face...or stating my point face to face...no I ain't a coward....Just that I do not want to listen to what u have got to say...no opinions (THANK U, but NO THANK U) !!!

It's been a great day...coz I started the day with My Master....and when ever things went wrong it was handed over immediately....My strengths do not come from within me n e more...it comes from the heavenly father....Don't think I ain't strong..I am very strong...but not with my own powers....but with powers greater than mine....

I keep telling my self that I have to write about a coupla things...yeah heavy stufff....very heavy stuff....Logic and religion...fake faith.....sexual fantacy....sexual crimes....(ermmm arn't we drooling....but I intend speaking of noting dirty)......

Hmmmm.....as much as I wanna write...I gotta boogy before I get throttled by my folks for living at work....

God Bless Ya !!!