Rooted and homely as I am, my heart yearns to return home, to enjoy the warmth and love of my wonderful parents and naughty dogs, not forgetting my cranky grandmother, but I wonder if my yearning is correct and would get me anywhere other than farther and farther away from my hopes, dreams, fantasies and desires. Unconsciously or consciously, I have been suffering from the ‘green grass’ syndrome all this while, always desiring what is farthest from me. For once in my life I am enjoying and am fully satisfied and contended with the job I am currently experiencing (It would surprise many who know my nature of employment) and cannot possibly think of myself doing anything else in this doomed country even though it would pay me double or even quadruple of what I am earning right now. It is a beautiful feeling to know that you got the potential within you to climb higher, but yet choose to remain where you are and practice endurance. Having job hopped all my life for once my conscious is forcing me to stay put, that it is more like some kinda something telling me that I have finally found what I would want to keep myself occupied with for a long time (apart from my precious business of course, I wouldn’t give that up for the world, it still runs in my blood and will always run until I say fare thee well to planet earth).
I haven’t had a proper eight hours of sleep for three days, since I finally decided to share the room with another female individual so that I could share the room rent with, which is around SL Rs. 12’000/-, but this idea never gave me the peace of mind or heart. I was finally eager to share the luxury of my territory, to give up my freedom and my peace of mind just in order to save a few mere rupees and it didn’t feel right. As usual, alone as I am, I didn’t have anyone to direct me, share my thoughts or calm me down than my unknown unseen father in heaven. The girl who was supposed to share in sees the room promising me to confirmation today, which never arrived (I was half hoping it wouldn’t), while a restless corner within me kept churning with eagerness to save half the money being used for the purpose of paying the rent. I left the situation in God’s hands and fell into a lovely deep sleep only to wake up feeling relaxed and whole again. Why I am thinking so much about saving would for the reason of running away. What if I wanted to build my life here instead? (I know I would be disappointing many, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do).
From experience, I have come to realize that restlessness within me comes only when my thought pattern contradicts with God’s purpose for my life. Having stated that, my room shall be my room and unshared coz it’s too pretty to be shared and no one deserves it..hmmph ;) and I on the other hand have decided to root myself down in this country for a while, which means that I will be applying for a my license and my dreams of a Mustang GT will be coming true soon.
Posted are some of the pics from the sheesha adventure stated in the previous post (and yes I approve sheesha, but not to the point of addiction, and if one may be wondering, nope I don’t booze and never have got wasted over here and am yet to be touched but a camel’s penis, which is quite a highly unlikely activity to occur).
I haven’t had a proper eight hours of sleep for three days, since I finally decided to share the room with another female individual so that I could share the room rent with, which is around SL Rs. 12’000/-, but this idea never gave me the peace of mind or heart. I was finally eager to share the luxury of my territory, to give up my freedom and my peace of mind just in order to save a few mere rupees and it didn’t feel right. As usual, alone as I am, I didn’t have anyone to direct me, share my thoughts or calm me down than my unknown unseen father in heaven. The girl who was supposed to share in sees the room promising me to confirmation today, which never arrived (I was half hoping it wouldn’t), while a restless corner within me kept churning with eagerness to save half the money being used for the purpose of paying the rent. I left the situation in God’s hands and fell into a lovely deep sleep only to wake up feeling relaxed and whole again. Why I am thinking so much about saving would for the reason of running away. What if I wanted to build my life here instead? (I know I would be disappointing many, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do).
From experience, I have come to realize that restlessness within me comes only when my thought pattern contradicts with God’s purpose for my life. Having stated that, my room shall be my room and unshared coz it’s too pretty to be shared and no one deserves it..hmmph ;) and I on the other hand have decided to root myself down in this country for a while, which means that I will be applying for a my license and my dreams of a Mustang GT will be coming true soon.
Posted are some of the pics from the sheesha adventure stated in the previous post (and yes I approve sheesha, but not to the point of addiction, and if one may be wondering, nope I don’t booze and never have got wasted over here and am yet to be touched but a camel’s penis, which is quite a highly unlikely activity to occur).
