A Cure For The Crippling Disease - Loneliness !

(A post made on request, I hope It looks less gibberish to you than it really is :)

No Nooo, I ain’t feeling anything even close to loneliness. Right now, I’m too high on life to feel anything as boring as that. But, yes, I know what that feels like; it ain’t a nice feeling, not at all. It drives you to do crazy things and sometimes to tears. It is a powerful feeling which could bring out the best in you if you climb on top of it and holler at it to go your way, or you could let it overwhelm you and trod you all over, wrap you around it’s little finger and fling you over the edge.

It is us who make our emotions slaves or masters, just that we don’t realize that we are blessed with greater power than any of the emotions we feel. I honestly thought that us humans are made up of emotions (and emotions alone) and that the soul was a mixed pickle of all our emotions and characteristics wrapped up tight in a tasty jar. But a deeper understanding and a realization about the ability to stand above any emotion I feel (good or bad) has made me understand that one can actually exist without them (even though that would make one cold, rigid and uninteresting). So here we are back again at stirring up emotions and as for loneliness, we can jolly well eradicate it by letting another ‘feel-good’ emotion overpower it.

It’s crazy as to how much I hate everything that goes behind technology, but think that life is very similar to a coded HTML page. All functions that take place on the face of it depends on the formulas embedded at the back of it. A correctly coded page functions without hiccups. Even a beautifully designed page can be of disgrace if the coding is messed up.

A little heart to heart conversation with a handful of people is enough to make you realize that 99.9% of the people are geared up with loneliness and are actively looking for that special someone to put a smile on their face and take that sinking feeling away. Little do they know that they are making a terrible mistake and it surely ain’t surprising that these kind of relationships end on a disastrous note. They are not happy with casual friendships, even though they have more than a sufficient number of friends to commune with and lovely families to hold their back, they turn a blind eye to all of them and choose to feel miserable and lonely instead. Why? Because the present gear he/she is on, builds up a void, which can only be filled with the deep, intimate sensual kind of relationship he/she is yearning for. They do not take the time to get to know the potential-other and is all go for a fast paced Hollywood romance. From hello to a kiss, to caressing and straight towards heated up action. One may even have strong policies against this sort of procedure, but yet at that moment it seems beyond their control to do anything about the drive that leads them to act foolish and immature. It gets difficult to think about long-term consequences, coz the only priority that twirls in their mind is finding the present cure for the sting they feel. Little do they know that the void only gets bigger and deeper once the burning hot and happening romance comes to an end. The grand finale would be the individual falling in and out of relationships (I dare not say love), for all the wrong reasons, not even realizing that they are only trapped in a vicious cycle.

There is not much of a solution to offer a person feeling lonely and down in the dumps since they are not equipped to attentively listen, let alone absorb any other solution than a quick fix for the brokenness they feel. But if they are willing to listen and correct the gone wrong codes within them, it is definitely a possible task to feel fulfilled and complete by oneself.

A Simple and Practical Solution

Step 1
Expose yourself to light, open the windows of your home, draw back the blinds, let the sunshine pour down on you. Darkness and gloominess adds to any kind of misery. It’s almost a universal law that none can feel sad whilst staring at the sun.

Step 2
Redirect you energies towards something you are passionate about, but make sure it is PRODUCTIVE. Choose something, which is personal, can be done by your self and can be enjoyed. (Charity, gardening, writing, reading, trying a new sport, sewing, painting, designing, woodwork, pottery, cooking, higher education, working out etc…Pardon me for not including sex, booze, smoke, gaming and movie addiction, they don’t qualify).

It is helpful to choose a variety of them and include an activity, which drains the excess physical energy growing fat and slouchy between our veins.

(I have a notion that we humans are not created for the 21st century. Depression and loneliness were certainly scarce amongst the cave men, because their energies were directed towards physical exertions and didn’t have much time to feel sorry for themselves).

Step 3
Take this opportunity to get to know yourself, whilst you are trying your hands on new and forgotten activities. This would be an ideal time since you will be having less time to focus on your misery and might have a good chance at focusing on your assets and positive traits instead, in order to build up the fallen self esteem. Train yourself to enjoy the small blessings waiting to be noticed by you.

Step 4
By now, your sleepless nights would have come to a minimum, so do focus on a balanced life, which includes, sufficient nutrition, exercise and plenty sleep (don’t feel guilty to sleep, sleep is good, there really is no problem unless otherwise that’s all you do).

Step 5
Now that you are comfortable under your own skin, chill down and take the time to genuinely get to know the old friends you have been ignoring because of your misery as well as the new friends you make.

* Do not get in to unwanted intimate relationships until you have fully cleansed yourself and are strong enough to not fall back in to the lonely pits of gloominess.

Yearning for companionship is perfectly natural. We are beautifully created to have deep connections with the opposite sex (and the opposite sex alone).

--> And the Lord said “ It isn’t good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs” - (Genesis 2 :18)

It was easier for the cavemen to build deeper relationships than the self-proclaimed fools of the 21st century coz their needs were basic and their functions were clearly understood by each individual. The men hunted and protected while the women gathered and nurtured. But we, who demand masculinity from a female and femininity from a male, need to be on steady grounds before we pursue searching for that PERFECT heart that beats parallel to ours.

How Confidential is Confidential?

One is bombarded with a gazillion ultra personal and highly confidential questions when obtaining bank a account, phone connection, insurance, lease etc., but what assurance do we have that all the information we provide are confidential as they say it is?

I had lost faith in the biggest GSM provider in Sri Lanka to keep my information confidential long ago. Some one who had my mobile number indirectly or directly had access to my full name, age, the company I worked for, address and my home phone number. This wasn’t the only instance, there was a twice, thrice and plenty more times, that I have given up keeping count of them.

The latest is to do with the biggest (me thinks) vehicle insurance provider. A bloke sees me a couple of times in a parking lot, he notes down my vehicle number, gives it off to the big shot uncle who happens to work in the above mentioned insurance company (obviously since most vehicles are insured with them, he decides to try his luck…hmmmphh) and tells him that it’s a long lost friend’s vehicle, and he needs the number to get in touch. The big shot uncle happily divulges the mobile number (which is a connection from the biggest GSM provider, which indirectly means that I have no assurance about the rest of my information being handed out on a platter to the goggle eyed boy). The boy calls, I play harsh, (he sure had me making sour faces at hello), and explains about how he got about obtaining my phone number, I am amused, very amused, almost hysterical, but at the same time very angry and jittery for the reason that I had plenty regards towards the insurance company involved.

What if the niece of the big shot was a gone wrong thug with a serious case of OCD? The ‘he wants it and he gets it type’, who’d go the distance and make plenty trouble to get what he wants. I could jolly well sue the insurance company, but it just ain’t of any use. I can only express my utter disgust at how well managed the so-called big shot companies are. This sort of action coming from the lower end of the company can be blamed upon the newcomers who have no idea (or rather are not bothered) bout the company / service ethics and policies, but this sort of action coming from the top management is absolutely shocking.

So much for confidentiality in Sri Lanka !

Samson and Delilah Along With Other Historical Couples

Samson and Delilah or should I be calling them “The Lust Machine” and “The Seductive Biatch”. One of the greatest lovers in the books of history? I think not ! I haven’t the slightest clue as to why they are even considered so.

Samson didn’t love Delilah like no other man has ever loved a woman. He was just enticed by her and was boastful, irresponsible and stupid. She wasn’t the first woman in his life either; she was just a woman he claims to have FALLEN IN LOVE with (along the way). A woman from the enemy troops the Philistines, possibly a vine woman, could have even been a harlot (who knows).

This wasn’t the first time Samson was driven by lust and acted irrationally, there is a similar instance where he is enticed by his first wife who too is a Philistine (but since it wasn’t a case between life and death, he probably brushed it off his memory) Silly Owl ! He burns the woman and the father raw just because she was married off to the best man since Samson abandoned her a few days after the wedding. How does he find this out, while making a visiting just in order to sleep with her. Such anger and destruction coming out of an undisciplined bunch of lustful emotions huh? That isn’t the end, his willy was so outa control that he ends up with a harlot from the city of Gaza just before his encounter with Delilah.

Please, how naïve and stupid can a man get? Doesn’t he ever learn from his past lessons? This guy amuses me to a greater extent than any other Biblical character has ever managed to. He merely takes the physical strength he is blessed with for granted, and decides that he can break all the rules he pleases and never be defeated. He appears to be a man who posses a immature brain, underdeveloped cluster of emotions which he has no control over and a puffed up ego to spice it up with. A mixed up, ruthless, scatterbrain who doesn’t seem to have got his priorities straight, tell him to save Israel from the Palatines, he goes chasing lasses to wine and dine with.

As for Romeo and Juliet - Yeah, sure it’s a moving love story, some versions actually make you cry, but yet, logically thinking, both of them were stupid. All they had to do was freaking run away. Added to their only misery, which was stupidness, they are been blessed with several encounters with an equally dense monk who marries them off, but does nothing else to make the relationship actually work (at least teach them the art of eloping). What was Shakespeare thinking?

Napoleon and Josephine – Why did she let him marry another if she loved him that much, and most of all why did he agree to? It is said that they couldn’t bear the separation. Oh boy, didn’t they know that they didn’t have to? Who said that true love was about sacrificing love for the sake of a crown. Plain materialism!

Robin Hood and Maid Marian – So close, but yet so far. Why couldn’t they be together? Her impatience or his coldness? Why didn’t she wait? If she knew for sure he would come for her, why did she have to make all our lives miserable and veil herself? Oh, and why did he run around doing errands that had nothing to do with either of them if he loved her so much?

Anthony and Cleopatra – Lets not even go there. They are even known as “history’s most extravagant and flamboyant lovers”. Critiques could go on about how the whole play (which actually elevated their place to where they are today) is about Shakespeare trying to make us understand about the true nature of love. Nonsense ! I see the Roman General and the Egyptian Queen as two ambitious and vicious dominators, who accidentally got infatuated on the way. More like addicted and bound by lust for each other and nothing more than that. They probably killed themselves in the end when Mark Antony was defeated, since they both knew they had no hope of life (with or without each other). Antony ends his life by falling on his sword and Cleopatra by letting a poisonous snake bite her (how ironic).

Lets hear what the Bible has to say about Love (any kind of love that is). But I believe that the purest form of love can only be found between a man and woman whose love has no boundaries, where they don’t hold anything from each other, their own flesh, let alone their souls. (Criticize me if you may, saying that the same bond is shared by a mother and a child, but I say no, they don’t).

“Love is very patient and kind,
Never jealous or envious,
Never boastful or proud,
Never haughty, selfish or rude.
Love does not demand it’s own way.
It is not irritable or touchy.
It does not hold grudges and will hardly ever notice when others do it wrong.
It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out.
If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost.
You will always believe in him,
Always expect the best of him (and)
Always stand your ground in defending him.” - (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)

I don’t consider any of the above couples to be great lovers. None of them could stand the test of time and if it doesn’t stand the test of time, then it wasn’t going to stand at all.

(Whilst verifying some facts from the father dearest, I happen to ask him why they did what they did, just so that I’d know how he thinks. Wasn’t I amused to hear what he said. “ Child, they were in love. Love is blind and makes people do the dumbest things possible”. I’ve my doubts if he’d tolerate me acting all dumb just because I’m in love and use the same words he spoke to evaluate my irrationality).

Note : Do check out my new poem at http://gobblezygookspoems.blogspot.com which is something relative to all the twaddle I’ve been ranting about.

Stirred Emotions / Bheegi Bheegi

It’s a modern Hindi track, done to a catchy dark, alternativish beat, but I still can’t make head or tail of who sings it. But the video and the track itself, stirs something deep inside. Something dark and painful, which cannot be described. It’s actually better than some of em done in the west. All respect to the musicians (who I am not familiar with). The chorus is as follows; I’d love for someone to tell me the meaning of it.

"Na jaane koi kaisi hai yeh zindagaani zindgaani
Hamari adhuri kahaani
Na jaane koi kaisi hai yeh zindagaani zindgaani
Hamari adhuri kahaani"

What I really wanted to get to was the stirring of emotions. Who decides what you want to feel and how you want to feel about a certain situation. You or God? Does believing in God guard you against depression, anger and all of the mucky feelings looked down upon by the society?

Heck No !!!

Veterans on the subject of enthusiasm and positive thinking keep talking about stirring up the spirit of enthusiasm from within ones self. I guess it’s the same with all other emotions such as anger, jealousy, resentment, annoyance etc.. I realized that what ever situation one is faced up with, initially comes in to direct contact with the emotion which is stirred up and is right at the top and ready to rule the head (which in turn rules the body).

Eg :

Situation - You were fuming over being put on hold on by a telephone operator whilst making an urgent, important call from your mobile phone, which has oh so expensive outgoing rates.

Stirred up Emotion – Anger / Frustration/ Tension

Next Situation – It’s the hanging out with the boyfriend/girlfriend day, but he/she calls to say that he/she is stuck at work and wouldn’t be able to make it (You’ve been planning to check out this new restaurant for days).

Reaction – You flare up, even though you don’t yell or exchange unpleasant words, out of you would come hostile words and blunt sentences (which, could be equally or even more hurtful).

Reason – Your ability to think rationally has been distorted; the unexpected situation comes and makes contact or rather collides with the emotion that was stirred up and floating at the top. In this case anger by itself is a negative emotion, which could do great mental as well as physical harm (most negative emotions do). The body rejects it and treats it as a foreign element, which explains the reason why the body, mind and soul aren’t in harmony when such dark emotions are felt.

I’m sure someone has already come up with this sorta explanation, just that it was never presented to me. A situation I went through a day back, made me figure out the above model, whilst pondering over why I reacted the way I did [and no…the above wasn’t the kind of situation I’m talking about (evil grin)]. Interesting how the human machine works huh?

I had plenty doubts while reading books by Norman Vincent Peale, coz it sounded more worldly than Biblical, drawing the strength we need to go on from Christ himself is an accepted practice / statement and no one can criticize it since it is written boldly in the Bible. But stirring up inner powers and emotions is something I have not come across in the Bible until yesterday (I honestly don’t know how I over saw it).

--> Stir into flame the strength and boldness that is in you…(2 Timothy 1 :6)

--> ...If you will stir up this inner power (2 Timothy 1 : 8)

Its clear to see that stirring up the emotion or choosing the gear we want to be on is entirely up to us, but hurtful words outspoken can never be rewound, so chose wise, and figure out the gear which works for you or rather helps you handle all situations calmly and rationally. This way you wouldn’t have to worry about remembering to switch between gears as and when the situation changes. Now that you’ve got your gear in place, stop fiddling with that age-old clutch and accelerate away. Happy riding !