It so happens to be that the species of the opposite sex I eventually begin to have the HOTS for are either, too old, taken or absolutely screwed up in their head. You wish you had access to the physically attractive ones you suddenly pass by on the road, but then again, who knows if they too are the average air heads.
Nah, being “Single” doesn’t annoy me at all, but the fact that it annoys everybody around me (including my mater) sorta drives me up the wall.
“Hey Judy, any one new & interesting?” (Friends)
“What men, no boyfriend yet?” (Relatives & Parent's friends) Plzzz…..I think I’ve had enough to last me a century :)
“Ahhh….next is you ah !” (At weddings)
“Time for you to find someone and settle down ah, enough trail and errors” (Mater)
Arrrghhh……Lord have mercy on my soul. The taunts are becoming worse these days. WHY? coz my closest second cousin, who happens to be my age, is getting engaged this coming Saturday. Woooahhhh….time for me to pack my bags and run away…...hehehe (I guess I just can’t take any more comments in that department). I love this woman, she’s the best cousin I’ve got and I’m overjoyed at the fact that she is hitching up (even though it ain’t with a dude of her parent’s dreams).
After a mega discussion about the whole issue of “Finding a man & settling down” with Mums last week, I sorta sat down in my quiet corner and fell deep in to pondering about the whole thing. I came up with the following Why’s (I choose to be single, at least for now) & Why Nots (I havn't bumped in to Prince Charming yet) which would keep me sane amidst all of em horrendous & irritating comments.
Nah, being “Single” doesn’t annoy me at all, but the fact that it annoys everybody around me (including my mater) sorta drives me up the wall.
“Hey Judy, any one new & interesting?” (Friends)
“What men, no boyfriend yet?” (Relatives & Parent's friends) Plzzz…..I think I’ve had enough to last me a century :)
“Ahhh….next is you ah !” (At weddings)
“Time for you to find someone and settle down ah, enough trail and errors” (Mater)
Arrrghhh……Lord have mercy on my soul. The taunts are becoming worse these days. WHY? coz my closest second cousin, who happens to be my age, is getting engaged this coming Saturday. Woooahhhh….time for me to pack my bags and run away…...hehehe (I guess I just can’t take any more comments in that department). I love this woman, she’s the best cousin I’ve got and I’m overjoyed at the fact that she is hitching up (even though it ain’t with a dude of her parent’s dreams).
After a mega discussion about the whole issue of “Finding a man & settling down” with Mums last week, I sorta sat down in my quiet corner and fell deep in to pondering about the whole thing. I came up with the following Why’s (I choose to be single, at least for now) & Why Nots (I havn't bumped in to Prince Charming yet) which would keep me sane amidst all of em horrendous & irritating comments.
(1) I gotta lot to grow u know, I’m still very much a kid myself (they even say that I look 18) Unless the dude is willing to grow up with me…Screw it !!!
(2) I am quite happy being single, and don’t feel the need to go out with the very next dude who asks me out (They just don’t deserve my YES) !!!
(3) I still haven’t come across a man who is at least 80% mentally and physically appealing (according to my standards of measurement).They are just not my cup of tea (Btw. I like coffee) :)
(4) Every man I have come across so far (potential & non potential) have been absolutely puny, self centered and just not strong enough for me (I’d rather marry off a woman & make test tube babies). Even the strongest of em, when made transparent were a ball of insecurities (Not that I don’t have my own set of insecurities, but in my world, MEN just gotta be PERFECT) !
(5) Men these days have become so dependent, financially & mentally. They are either broke or depressed (That freaking annoys me). Most of them seem to be looking for a woman to cook & feed them, take care of their family as well as to boost their ego & pockets ONLY (Geeez….still to meet a guy who thinks women are much more than that) !
(6) They just don’t seem to be having the same world view I have (Why in the world would I wanna get hitched just to get entangled in a web of endless arguments?). This includes my religious beliefs. The ones who say that they do share the same belief, eventually turn outa be horrible posers.
(7) Most of them just can’t seem to stand (take up / tolerate) my “Are you genuine” test (I love this part) If you really say you like me, Put up with me !!!
(8) Where in the world has all the creativity, humour, zest and masculinity gone ?!?
(9) I don’t wanna be making the same mistake of ending up with the not so perfect dude ever again. If I was to ever even consider hitching up again, it would be nothing less than with the absolutely perfect GENTLEMAN, just made for me (made in heaven)
Note that I’ve emphasized on the word GENTLEMAN, which excludes the Kabbas, Gangstas, Rastas and the so called Cool Dudes (or was it Cool Duds).
(10) Last but not the least; I just don’t have the freaking time and energy to not be single right now.
Since I’ve got all my thoughts straight, guess I wouldn’t really bother explaining the reasons to people who question me from now on. So help me Lord, or rather HELP THEM !!!
11 comments:
Mmmmm..the perrrfect man for Judy...But is judy the perrrfect woman????
and yes social pressure can be a pain in the ass.
My Theory,
The longer you wait, the more options you get.
Stay a while, enjoy life....and see them all que for you! (well they do for me!!!)
Ha ha
exactly...who needs men anyways!!! hehehe...oh wait im supposed to stand up for my kind arent i?!! anyways i SO get your attitude...relationships have an annoying way of blowing up in your face...so take it easy...let life run its course and hey who knows who you'll run into ya? heheh...ok ok so thats wishful thinking...but hey...who gives a flying f***!!!!
theres SO much more to life than cliche lovelines, lost lovers and valentines day!!! :)
Hey Razor :), u just had to go state your munkey questions ne? (In this case, I'm supposed to sound like a perfection of all perfections) (",) This is what I meant by you being a thinker, you think too much....(Hugggs)
Well Dil & Dims,
Thats exactly what I'm doing, Staying away !! I know that men carry alot of calories, they are fattening & just might give me a tooth decay....hehehe
What I would love to hear from ppl is some smart ass but polite answers to throw at the face of the "How come your still single?" bugs (",)
zzzzzzzzzzz
How about "I'm a lesbian, I prefer ovaries to testicles".
Or
"I stabbed the last guy I was with so my therapist has told me to take a break from the dating scene"
Or
"I'm freezing my eggs. No rush"
Or even
"I'm too young and have commited no crime for a life sentence of slavery"
Note: all of the above needs to be said with a straight face. Your audience of nosy inquirers need to be wondering 'hmm is she serious or what?'
Yup yup I get what you mean however fortunately in my situation people have learnt better than to ask me why I'm single; they have recieved my above-mentioned smart-arse replies and been put in a situation where everyone laughs at them for being morons and butting in my business (which is true) and then look at me in admiration for being the clever witty person than I am (also true obviously;))
Oh and my favourite reply for the valentine's day ravers? "'I shot cupid with a bazooka last year. Want the same? No? Then get out of my face."
Darwin is Evil..........arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Dat was a good one Darwin....Merci :)(Freaking Hilarious)...hehehe
Yeah good stuff!
For those who don't have the guts to try out Darwin's suggestions, here's a rather mild way of handling it..
Moron asks: How come you haven't met your better half yet?
You say: 'Cos there is no better half! (hint - you're DA BEST!;>)
Moron shuts up.. yippeeeee!
Cool topic btw - glad to discover I'm not the only victim of this pain-in-the-ass game!!
Interesting Comments all round... but all I will say is.... I met many girls in my life, and none are as perfect and wonderful as da girl im wid right now.... as much as being single was fun, being with the right girl is just so amazing!!
and judith, as for external pressures, just dun give a damn about them ok? just go with your heart, and u'll know when you finally do meet the right person!
gud luck wid everytin!!!
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