* Don't dare judge me....I am what I am....and I just might not be what you see....so if you really want to judge..."GO JUDGE SOMEONE ELSE" :-)
Phone Habits
(1) My phone is with me 24/7/365, It is switched off only when I do not want to be disturbed. If I don't answer your call, or call you back, either I don't want to speak to you right then or never want to be hassled by you ever again.
(2) I do reply most of the sms's I get, unless other wise they are forwardings. Me not replying a message would mean that I find it lame, stupid, annoying or just don't want to communicate with you. If I don't reply a significant number of your messages at a stretch, I expect you to get the message that I don't want your number appearing on the screen of my phone...If you don't seem to figure this out, then your either sitting on your comprehension power or a plain retard
* retard = a person backward in mental or physical development
(3) The maximum times I will attempt to get through to a person is twice or on rare occasions thrice...If you fail to answer me or reply my message...I shall not bother with you ever.....I consider you an unfortunate earthling to have missed the opportunity to converse with me :)
(4) If you owe me something, then expect to be bugged, till you come up with a proper explanation or return what you owe me....(I don't expect you to return what ain't important to me, if I never ask you to make it your own, yeah...then it is darn important) !!!
(5) If I owe you something, don't worry...I wouldn't run away with it…I will return what ever I owe you in full...Yes, I will be polite enough to call you and give you an explanation if there involves any delay...but...Big “BUT " only if you would be sweet enough not to pounce on me like a starved Ethiopian Cannibal...or make my day go worse than it already is"
(6) Don't send me stupid sms's asking me how I am doing....I will either say...I'm doing good...ok or all right (you can be sure that it is always positive)....so don't bother. Try starting a conversation with a melodious note instead.
(7) I don't want to be called numerous times a day to be talked to...no...I ain't a puppy wanting to be spoken to 24/7...I appreciate my space.....solitude.....and dislike small talk....
(8) Don't dare call me up and expect to be entertained...no...I ain't a clown...and don't be too assured that I'll make your day and illuminate your darkness.
(9) I will only message you or call you if I like the living, breathing earthling you are....(I said like.....not LOVE)
(10) If I have ever fallen in love with you...I wouldn't use the phone or sms to confess it...I'll look deep in to your eyes...make you lifeless and then say it....(so don't let your imagination run riot, save it for a rainy day) !!!
(11) I sure judge you by the tone of your voice.....so when in a conversation if your tone is groggy or lazy….I rate you as uninteresting...or just not in the mood to talk.....don't blame me If I pretend to be busy and run away...I hate uninteresting, unresponsive conversations.
(12) If you’re a guy...don't dare call me when you are drunk....I don't appreciate drunk conversations either.
(13) Don't dare giving me nuisance calls....they don’t really affect me....so don't waste your time and money....(just a warning to save your resources)
(14) Don't dare declare any sort of feelings you got towards me using a telephonic equipment or worst of all don't dare do it in disguise / anonymous...In my mind you'll only be an ordinary coward with absolutely no self confidence, what-so-ever.
(15) If I don't answer the phone with a sweet note.....then may be...I'm pretending not to like you.....hehehe
Relationships & Nick Naks
(1) If I ever hang out with you twice...then you can be assured that I don't detest you (I never said like or love)
(2) If I ever tell you that I love you casually...don't believe me...(I just might be kidding around to find out your true intentions/ulterior motives....yeah...I'm cautious. I don't find anything wrong with it)....Coz if I'm really in love with you...I wouldn't be harping about it....I'd never say it....
(3) If I ever tell you that I needa get away from you....then I gotta be really hooked on to you....I'm just trying to find out, whether you really want me to stay or not...or who knows...may be I really want to run away from you...hehehe
(4) If I really do adore you...then I'll try not to meet your eye...( reasons withheld)
(5) I am bad at non-committed relationships....and I will always hate you for even considering it...(I'll try my best to forgive you....but I'm only human)
(6) If you've figured out that I like you...and I still ignore you at times....may be….just may be you've hurt me....and I don't really want to confront you or get hurt again...
(7) No...I don't appreciate you talking about other women...when in a conversation with me...I'm weird...I don't get jealous....I'd simply lose respect and cut you off....
(8) Exception :- I will talk about other guys and check em out along with you until I am sure you are exactly what I want or rather worth my time and energy.....You'll make it some where, if you hang in there...may be I like to know how possessive you truly are.
(9) If you are Aunty Monica's jealous cat...shooooo away......don't even bother...If you are too possessive I'm sure to get ticked off....but then again if you are too less possessive. I’ll take it as a sign of unconcern and lameness....tehehe
(10) Don't expect me to understand reasons why you did unofficial coffee/movie/lunch/dinner with another woman....Coz I don't want to understand.....hahaha...I'm a living, breathing radar...I'd know your true intentions by afar....So don't dare play around...I’ll make you cry and get you running off to your Mommy.
(11) If I am committed to you or absolutely, spot on in love with you.....then you can be assured not to find me doing any of the above or further, with any one else other than YOU....(ooops...who am I kidding) !!!
(12) No...I don't like you if you have a tendency to live by other's approval...I expect you to have a mind of your own.
(13) Neither do I want you to be every body's everything....
(14) I don't appreciate emotionless men...I find them mechanically inhuman and rather disgusting.
(15) Yes...I expect you to remember all birthday's and anniversaries...you won't be excused, unless other wise u are very sick and about to die...
(16) Ermm....no....I have no intention of eating "Coconut Sambol" and " Rice" every day...hehehe
Phone Habits
(1) My phone is with me 24/7/365, It is switched off only when I do not want to be disturbed. If I don't answer your call, or call you back, either I don't want to speak to you right then or never want to be hassled by you ever again.
(2) I do reply most of the sms's I get, unless other wise they are forwardings. Me not replying a message would mean that I find it lame, stupid, annoying or just don't want to communicate with you. If I don't reply a significant number of your messages at a stretch, I expect you to get the message that I don't want your number appearing on the screen of my phone...If you don't seem to figure this out, then your either sitting on your comprehension power or a plain retard
* retard = a person backward in mental or physical development
(3) The maximum times I will attempt to get through to a person is twice or on rare occasions thrice...If you fail to answer me or reply my message...I shall not bother with you ever.....I consider you an unfortunate earthling to have missed the opportunity to converse with me :)
(4) If you owe me something, then expect to be bugged, till you come up with a proper explanation or return what you owe me....(I don't expect you to return what ain't important to me, if I never ask you to make it your own, yeah...then it is darn important) !!!
(5) If I owe you something, don't worry...I wouldn't run away with it…I will return what ever I owe you in full...Yes, I will be polite enough to call you and give you an explanation if there involves any delay...but...Big “BUT " only if you would be sweet enough not to pounce on me like a starved Ethiopian Cannibal...or make my day go worse than it already is"
(6) Don't send me stupid sms's asking me how I am doing....I will either say...I'm doing good...ok or all right (you can be sure that it is always positive)....so don't bother. Try starting a conversation with a melodious note instead.
(7) I don't want to be called numerous times a day to be talked to...no...I ain't a puppy wanting to be spoken to 24/7...I appreciate my space.....solitude.....and dislike small talk....
(8) Don't dare call me up and expect to be entertained...no...I ain't a clown...and don't be too assured that I'll make your day and illuminate your darkness.
(9) I will only message you or call you if I like the living, breathing earthling you are....(I said like.....not LOVE)
(10) If I have ever fallen in love with you...I wouldn't use the phone or sms to confess it...I'll look deep in to your eyes...make you lifeless and then say it....(so don't let your imagination run riot, save it for a rainy day) !!!
(11) I sure judge you by the tone of your voice.....so when in a conversation if your tone is groggy or lazy….I rate you as uninteresting...or just not in the mood to talk.....don't blame me If I pretend to be busy and run away...I hate uninteresting, unresponsive conversations.
(12) If you’re a guy...don't dare call me when you are drunk....I don't appreciate drunk conversations either.
(13) Don't dare giving me nuisance calls....they don’t really affect me....so don't waste your time and money....(just a warning to save your resources)
(14) Don't dare declare any sort of feelings you got towards me using a telephonic equipment or worst of all don't dare do it in disguise / anonymous...In my mind you'll only be an ordinary coward with absolutely no self confidence, what-so-ever.
(15) If I don't answer the phone with a sweet note.....then may be...I'm pretending not to like you.....hehehe
Relationships & Nick Naks
(1) If I ever hang out with you twice...then you can be assured that I don't detest you (I never said like or love)
(2) If I ever tell you that I love you casually...don't believe me...(I just might be kidding around to find out your true intentions/ulterior motives....yeah...I'm cautious. I don't find anything wrong with it)....Coz if I'm really in love with you...I wouldn't be harping about it....I'd never say it....
(3) If I ever tell you that I needa get away from you....then I gotta be really hooked on to you....I'm just trying to find out, whether you really want me to stay or not...or who knows...may be I really want to run away from you...hehehe
(4) If I really do adore you...then I'll try not to meet your eye...( reasons withheld)
(5) I am bad at non-committed relationships....and I will always hate you for even considering it...(I'll try my best to forgive you....but I'm only human)
(6) If you've figured out that I like you...and I still ignore you at times....may be….just may be you've hurt me....and I don't really want to confront you or get hurt again...
(7) No...I don't appreciate you talking about other women...when in a conversation with me...I'm weird...I don't get jealous....I'd simply lose respect and cut you off....
(8) Exception :- I will talk about other guys and check em out along with you until I am sure you are exactly what I want or rather worth my time and energy.....You'll make it some where, if you hang in there...may be I like to know how possessive you truly are.
(9) If you are Aunty Monica's jealous cat...shooooo away......don't even bother...If you are too possessive I'm sure to get ticked off....but then again if you are too less possessive. I’ll take it as a sign of unconcern and lameness....tehehe
(10) Don't expect me to understand reasons why you did unofficial coffee/movie/lunch/dinner with another woman....Coz I don't want to understand.....hahaha...I'm a living, breathing radar...I'd know your true intentions by afar....So don't dare play around...I’ll make you cry and get you running off to your Mommy.
(11) If I am committed to you or absolutely, spot on in love with you.....then you can be assured not to find me doing any of the above or further, with any one else other than YOU....(ooops...who am I kidding) !!!
(12) No...I don't like you if you have a tendency to live by other's approval...I expect you to have a mind of your own.
(13) Neither do I want you to be every body's everything....
(14) I don't appreciate emotionless men...I find them mechanically inhuman and rather disgusting.
(15) Yes...I expect you to remember all birthday's and anniversaries...you won't be excused, unless other wise u are very sick and about to die...
(16) Ermm....no....I have no intention of eating "Coconut Sambol" and " Rice" every day...hehehe
(17) A teetotaler it is...If I ever catch you puffed out or boozed flat...please anticipate broken bones and teeth.
(18) A bad shaker on the dance floor is a turn off....but if you find me moving sloppy on the dance floor, please look at your self first...may be I'm just trying to keep your pace :)
(19) Don't walk towards me with ulterior motives of material/financial/physical attainments.....coz I'll just sniff you from afar...and simply cut you off.
(20) If I really, really do adore you, I'll offer you my world, just to see if you'd take it right away....(I judge you by the decision you make).
(21) If you don't believe in God, heaven and hell....don't even bother lingering around....you'll only be my friend and nothing more....(Harsh...but it's true, but I have all the reason's to be)....
(22) If you are a jerk, who approves pre-marital physical attachment, run before I fry your willy and feed my dog.
(23) If your head is filled with lust, heaven help you......coz if you dare make me an object of your lust...you’ll need more than heaven to help you !!!
(24) If you think you are superior than I am....go fly...It's up to me to decide whether or not !!!
(25) I'm sorry...I don't sell marshmallows...only over baked cookies....(If you can't comprehend what I'm trying to say...stop reading...shut down this page...adios !!! and no it ain’t anything vulgar I’m trying to say)
(26) Assuming never took any one any where... so don't. Just ask me...No...I promise, I'll try not to bite !!!
(27) Don't dare accuse me for assuming...that's just me....but If you are smart enough to keep things clear, cut and dry...then I wouldn't have to waste my time or energy assuming and trying to figure you out.
(28) Grown up's hooked...(I mean really hooked) on cartoons aren’t considered cute...I see ya as a dumb ass with an underdeveloped brain, a habitual escapist...clutching with fear to face reality.......
(29) Same goes to movies....if you've got nothing better to do than watch movies....you’re considered a jobless freak in my books.
(30) Do you know how to smile...or can I teach you how to?
(31) It's now or never.....all or nothing...no mediocrity...no procrastination.
(32) Once bitten, twice shy....No second chances in relationships. “Broken limbs can be repaired...but the scars remain”
(33) If you are looking for a lion to be caged and paraded....sorry sir...you've been misdirected...you should be looking in the zoo.
(34) Must like museums, galleries, exhibitions, country, ruggedness, stage plays, operas, books (comics don't really count), animals, rock n" retro, living on the edge....
(35) Must be....simple, artsy and inscrutable.
(36) Must loathe all techno music and stupid hip hop ...(OBSERVATION....the afore-said music lovers contradict with everything I am)...
(37) If bad is good in thee eyes....Depart !!!
(38) Getting back to artsy, if you loathe coloured hair and piercing… Depart immediately !!!
(39) If you are married and attempting to flirt with me...I'll first warn you, failing which, tell your wife and force you to a shrink, coz you sure are an insane, sordid, lewd, obscene and down right dirty bastard who deserves to be shot in the head !!!
(40) You are spiteful if you find "Samson & Delilah" and "Romeo & Juliet" stupid.
(41) I ain't a butterfly puffed up with make up, I've got no rosy cheeks, swaying hips, bright red lips, juicy butt, glossy combed hair and nice smelling feet.........Oppps...did I disappoint u ???
(42) Work out is as important as praying....if you are a pudgy lazy owl who loves to sleep and your idea of exercise is a drive to the nearest restaurant, I'm sorry you ain't my type.
(43) I consider you successful, if you succeed in teaching me the game of pool...No one's really got to the end of explaining the whole game due to the sudden out-break of “the war of the cues”. I find it a lil boring anyway.
(44) Formula Racing and drag racing is Hot !!! If you insult it, I'll only end up insulting you and making you cry.
(45) I’m just a simple and very ordinary girl and no way will I trade that for all the money in the world, so don’t expect me to.
Friends
(1) I don't expect anything from you, neither do I expect you to measure up to anything....so don't bother impressing...I like you just the way you are...
(2) If I am by any chance avoiding you...may be I got my reasons....your either a negative thinker who can't be put right...you offend me...provoke me....drive me up the wall...try to manipulate me...a serial liar, a user or an abuser.
(3) If you don't call me as often as I call you....too busy with your own stuff...don't wanna talk...don't wanna meet up...FOR A PROLONGED PERIOD OF TIME....you sure are making your way to my book of "Extinct Creatures"
(4) No...I ain't Santa Clause's girl friend...my resources are limited...this includes...time and money.....but If I can help you in any way...I would never say no...
(5) If I ever come up to you with a problem...I only want you to listen....If I ever get down to asking your opinion...I only want your opinion, and nothing else...and just coz I take your opinion, I ain't gonna act upon it blindly...all options will be weighed...so understand.
(6) Don't tell me what to do, what to feel and what to be...it ain't gonna work...coz I've got a mind of my own....so shut up and quit trying to get me to...
(7) Don't try convincing me to believe in any other religion other than what I am believing now...I'll only shoo you away or lose any respect I had or have towards you.
(8) Don't waste your time tarnishing my name.....coz what you or others think of me doesn’t really matter to me.
(9) Plz understand....I can't be there for you alwaysss.....I got a life of my own.
(10) Be frank about whether you want me around or not, coz I don't bother hanging around where I am not wanted, and no...I ain't a soothsayer, and neither can I read your mind.
(11) All women are dangerous, and yes I fear them more than uncultivated hooligans.....so if your a female, and want to be my friend...gimme time.....or if you already are....I'm sorry....I consider all women to be opportunists (horrible past experiences)....yeah...so gimme time to figure ya out !!!
(12) Where there is a female crotch, there's sure to be a man.....so if you are a guy....don't blame me if I take time to get to know you and trust you.....I'm picky, and I'm plenty proud of it.
(13) I am your guardian angel at the time of your distress, but no…...I ain’t your chauffer.
(14) My stuff are not for you to borrow and leave it unreturned....I'll simply label you a thief.
(15) I ain't perfect...I do go through messy times, where I appreciate my space....Gimme time to disappear and reappear (Go into hibernation). Ignoring you during this phase doesn't mean that I hate you...it's just my way of sobering built up toxicity.
**Finally.....I do have the authority to change the above statements as and when I want to. Adding new statements or deleting any of the existing ones doesn’t mean that I’m a highly volatile creature in any way. Change is a sign of maturity after all.
2 comments:
Thats a massive post. I had to take intermission twice before I was done reading it.
Me again.. I just quickly scanned through your achives (can't dawdle too much lest the Eye sees me ignoring my work),but I'mma try take a peek tonight. You make some very interesting posts. I for the life me never thought that a girl in LK would have such thoughts, but maybe that's a little arrogant of me to say so since all i've ever been exposed to is what a person decides to show to the world. But your blog has given me some comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one who has a tormented mind (cliche!)
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