Bad bad cold........

Ouch...got a bad bad cold....eyes are burning away.....he..he... but yeah...feeling pretty hyper.....Geez.....never felt like this in ages.......ooops..gotta go....sumone's watching me...spy...spy....dirty dirty spy.....

Why Would u Pretend?

Pretentiousness.....a downright sin....Why would you pretend ??? only hell knows.....why would someone hang around with poeple they detest...outa lonliness...nah....guess not...why would you go out with someone you can't stand to walk with on the road??? outa fear that there just might be no other for ya??? Jack shit....Ppl...stop pretending......Con for revenge...but be true to thy heart...you only con your own sweet self by pretending.....

It hurts to know that so many ppl you love, adore and so fond of pretend...(my radars are too powerful for them to escape).....

You wanna know why I harp so much about pretentiousness and still con through my nose.....well.....I con for fun..thats a diferent story...but I will not hurt you with my cons unless I detest you and hate your wits ...gutts and all you got......I will drag you down with me the minute I figure out that you are living a lie in fronta my eyes....

Your fucking life ain't no business of mine....but if your lil lies affect me one way or another....I swear upon the mighty evil gods of hell...that I will crush your brain with my bare naked hands and watch you bleed......

(Do I sound disturbed to ya.....wel..you don't have to worry if you never have or never will do me wrong).........

If I say I am your friend...I am for the rest of my life (until you decide to go screw things up of course)...If I say I love you... I tell you no lie I really do (unless you've hurt me in the past and I'm pulling a wicked con on ya..ha..ha..ha..)...Don't worry..If I hate you and don't want anything to do with you...I wouldn't pretend...I'll just sue you outa my life.....and warn you to stay away.....

Hex

Its 2.30 pm............I can hear Edwin Mccain's I'll Be....playing in the background..............It takes me back down memory lane............I wanna run away...escape.....from ......I still can't figure out what.........

Life is on full swing......But the empty feeling still exists. The past week has been crazy. I've had my head in the air....kept bumping in to things so unrealistic...but still desirable.

Pressure from all nooks and corners keep building up..... Everybody and everything I love and treasure seems to be taken away from me....(isn't that always the case???) nothing lasts forever...and just when you think you found something you've been looking for all your god damn life....it turns out to be something the higher power forbids you to even look at....But after a while it hits you that everything you think is perfect now may not be perfect as you think it is...after awhile.

Perfectionism..(something which has stopped me from acheiving so much more).... But there seems to be no way of escaping the god damn syndrome........

K...I'm writing a tona crap again...I better stop n get back to work now.....I feel the vibes today...I feel like I'm fulla power to hex the world...

My will is stronger than your club !!!

Its 6 p.m...and I am still in office...I feel like a million dooars today (feel more like a 100 million dollars..he..he..)....Was badly beaten down by the flue yesterday...but geez..its all in the mind..I am up and above sronger and steadier than ever today. Work issues are all being sorted out..atleast I can sleep in peace today.....The statement below inspired me a great deal in the morning...it actually made me work harder and faster.....

Quote................

"My worst enemies are those who presume me to be harmless. They cannot imagine how much I resent and disdain them, or just how great a threat they would face if I could get at them. Everything in their behavior speaks of insult and presumptuousness, and for now it is all I can do to make constructive use of my anger towards them. At this time, I just make a list of them and keep a watch on. Some day, with the help of time, space, and circumstance, I will be able to humiliate them properly - not in a manner they would enjoy, but in a style calculated to make them wish that they had never been born."

~Anton Szandor LaVey~

Unquote----------------

Gotta stop this nonsense and get back to work.....he..he..(",)

Bitchy Me !!!

Every thing is going so smooth........The people I detest are perishing right in front of my eyes, without my interferance. I feel like I got this strange power within me to destroy the evil and the stupid (stupidity is definetely ona the satanic sins..he..he..)...Well yeah....they are trying to bring me down..but I feel untouched.....I feel cold and bitchy as if I am the devil herself.

Well.......the world is a facinating place....it definetely is......The kinda people I thot never existed keep walking in to my life in so many unexpected ways.

Ayiooo...got a lot on my mind to spit out, but not in the mood today.......Wanna chill down some place which makes me happy. Theres just one place...and that place is unreachable....getting there is just outa the question....I am about to lose the lil happiness I have in my life very soon. I know that for sure....I'm about to lose the lil ray of hope that made my day and made me smile.

I've moved on...and away from a lot of my desires...and I know I can live without this lil treasure if I really want to..It's all in the mind..and I know I am stronger than the wind to fearlessly rebel against it !!!

I'm High On Mint...

Got a whole loada tic tacs and mentos.....hmmm......feeling dazed....but high.....(k...I'm kidding..but yeah..mint makes one feel relaxed..)...Pressure is about to explode me in to peices....its ona those days..where you got so much to do...and you wanna fini em all, but you feel chained.....oH... life...o life.....

No..still don't feel contended.......wonder when I will ever will feel that way.....contentment is like a cool breeze to me, sumthing which sweeps across my face and makes me smile...and go away just as fast as it came by.....

Gotta Bite Da Road again....meaaaoww........Lord help em poor pedestrians !!!

It's Me Bithday Today !!!

I have Already turned 21...ouch !!! that hurts.....I wanted to get away from home and be by myself, so I came to work.....The bug inside me still keeps churning.....Noooo...I am so not gonna have a bash, coz I know damn well that a bash is not gonna help at all..at least not at this time.......

Some very sweet ppl made my day go really bright today...but its all temperory...Hail Satan....what the f*** have I turned outa be....Feels like I wanna sit and cry in a corner, but I wonder if any tears would run down my cheeck let alone pop outa my eyes......I know that I can't feel anymore.... I can't care less about how you feel either. I am too damn wounded to celebrate n e thing, let alone this f****** birthday.

You wanna treat....here goes....For all you Ba*t**ds n' B*tc** who did me wrong, I put a hex on you.....for all you Warlocks n' Witches who tried to destroy me and hurt me intentionally or unintentionally I curse you with all my heart. (Now..now..now..wasn't that a tasty treat) !!!

I don't know what I'm gonna do the resta the day......all I know is that I wanna be untouched, unloved and alone....sneak in to my dark lil world and be barred from the resta the hooligans.......

Blessed Be !!!

Awsome !!!

It's kinda a crazy day......a part of me is happy and a part of me is sad.....feels like I got MPD.......he..he....Impity wimpity poof.....(thats the disappearing chant) !!!

Bad Bad Day !!!

ADSL was down the whole day.....geeezz...everything is held up.....Jack shit...I am so angry wih the world...angry with every body around. I hate everyhting happening around me.....Everything seems to be beyond my reach and beyond my control.......The only thing that makes me stronger is reading Anton Laveys words over and over again......I am tired...stressed out and drained, and the only sense of peace I have is the hope of gettig back at all the suckers who stabbed me and tore me apart......My anger is so strong, that I could run over the world with my lil dinky wheels.......

Was just wondering if writing on my journal would help squench my wild desire to sink my teeth in to his thin bones....and drain the very last drop of blood from him....I am the Devils Advocate....The Goddess of Dakness.....but worst of all I am your living, breathing nightmare waiting to take you to the depths of hell...Confusing???? My anger is indirect....I'll con you in to my world and suffercate your soul......(I shall stop.....coz the more I write..the more my anger burns inside me...and I just might end up yanking your tonsils out)!!!

He...he..he.. that ain't me.......that ain't satanism either.......check out the stuff stated below sweets......

When most people think of Satanism, images of Demons, Sacrifices, and Animal mutilations usually come to mind. After all that is what the media, and your local church has spoon fed to the masses for years. Most people assume that Satanists embrace evil, arenýt capable of loving, and that Satanism is nothing more than inverse Christianity. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Satan by definition, it's true definition, is the Adversary, or the Opposition. We oppose the Status quo, and the closed minded herd mentality that fuels stupidity and ignorance like a social cancer. Instead we embrace Intellect, Objectivism, Individuality, and Rational self interest.

You are the only person who has control over your life, no "God" will make your life better for you. It is much like Santa Claus, we are told as children that if you don't believe in him you will be punished by not getting any presents. Religions of all kinds work in much the same way, with the exception of Satanism. We do not believe in things we cannot see, and yes that includes "Satan." Why should we, that is not rational.

I'm sure you are asking yourself, "Then why the name Satanism?" The answer is quite simple. Throughout history all religions have only preached obedience and faith while Individuality, and rational thought has been condemned and called ýevilý. It wasn't that long ago that the Churches attempted to ban books that provoke thought, and make people think for themselves instead of buying into the church scams and guilt trips. Satanism is quite the opposite, hence the term "Adversary" (The definition of Satan)