Amazing Grace...Saved a Wretch Like Me!!!

It's amazing the way my master is leading me.....Leading me to greener pastures.....sweeter honey......I can feel him hold my hand....it's secure than any hand I ever held.....It's tight grip tells me not to worry...to stay calm..and stay strong....Lord...my only God will deliver me from all evil....

I fall...I trip...but he reaches out and helps me back on my feet.....I can't help but fall in love with him over and over again......My mind is at rest...My mind is at peace.....

I don't remember having a deeper love for anyone or anything....atleast not as deep as this. I can't explain how he grabbed my heart and soul...and how much deeper he is gonna stir it....But I yearn for him like I've yearned for no other.....I yearn for him to speak....I wish He could sit me down and talk to me...but thats the beaty of it all...my private converation with the love of my life. No one hears...no one knows....they think I'm crazy muttering away on my own....but only I know the joy he giveth......Only I feel the satisfaction he provides my soul.....My Lord, My Master...My All !!!

He Leads Me through doors studded with jewels...he leads me through streets of gold....what more can I ask for....I ain't talking material....Im talking about every step he guides me to take.....He gives me things No demonic force could ever offer me...(Crsuh that deceiving rat)!!!

Turn to God...He will never let you down....He will still keep lovinmg you and loving you more when the world throws you away.....He is possessive...he is jealous.....but I wouldn't want it n e other way......I want him to want me more and more every single second of the day.....I fear him..but I love him more than I fear him.....Hail My Master !!!

God Bless you !!!

Does Love Make Or Break ???

I'm Still Nutzzz about him....trying my best to get a hold of those emotions running wild..hehehe...but no regrets what so ever....

The past week was nothing but hectic...anxiety took the better of me I guess.....I'm glad I had him to hold my hand & carry me through.....

There were so many instances I was tested....tested left,right & centre.....but Yippy..I've conquered em all......

I learnt one thing last week.....do what's right even if the world laughs at you and corners you.....no backsliding.....and I'm thankful that I'm blessed with a mentor not only in heaven but on earth as well....some one to stop me at the beging of the hell hole...a guy who speaks the truth even tho it hurts.......This I never asked my father...but he has provided me.....

I know I will be faltering this week....theres enuf chances to..infact I want to.....My evil lil prince speaks to me..tempts me......and I'm freaked out about taking the next step......I wanna go back, when life was much easier to live..much easier to handle.......I wanna go back to the illusions.....Live in dreams... wanna go back to the times when Guilty wasn't a word in my vocabulary.......

I feel torn apart......torn by everything.....torn by love unreachable.......life which is testing....but Still I stand in his light.......thats what's amazing.....

God Bless You !!!

Nothing compares to his love !!!

Came to work for a short while......did some shopping on the way for mum......Wish I was on camp..was waiting to go for it...but unfortunately...quite outa da blue I am feeling way under the weather......may be due to over exhaustion...or I donno........May be the evil one is trying to break me away from my Lord...which he will never succeed doing...coz I am very well clung to me master...the master of light........

There are no words to explain how much I love my new master...and I'd do nothing to hurt him or bring ill repute to him......he has now given me the strength and the courage to say no to my weaknesses...

The world is wild...rocking...and pleasurable...but short lived.....My Masters love matters to me much much more than what the world can ever offer me.....It's easy to falter...but challenging to stay sane and do right....With his grace I will....not by order, but by will.....

God Bless you !!!

I'm still vicious...just be careful.....

Life sucks even more than it used to........true love is no where.....forget bout true love....there's not one genuine person on this fucking planet. They either want your money...or a peek in your pants....geeez.....

Is it something wrong with me..or sometjing wroth with the world.I so don't know.....The truth is I ain't in love with anyone...nor do I fancy anyone...

My mission to find the perfect 10 is over.....I finally figured that their exists no perfect Mr. Right...or anyone close to that.....its just a big fat illusion....The ones who are perfect are either outa reach....or so outa type....ouchy baby !!!!!!

Thou shall leave me alone...coz I can read your mind.....If you are wise.....very wise.......you'll drop your pants.....and run without ever turning back.....No I don't need your fucking love..neither do I need your fucking affection.....Your possessions I need none....I've judged you enuf...thou art a loser...a fucking loser......I simply ask thee to leave me alone.....get over me...I ain't for you......I never loved you ...and never will......thy flattery goes so unheard coz my ears are deaf to all your words.......

You can't turn back n e thing.....I've already judged....u made me do it....I'm sorry...u will never have me...coz u can't turn back time.......I don't waste my love on ingrates.....

This is fucking why I turned outa be a satanist...coz of freaking Christians like you....God does not provide dough for free...it involves hard work....sweat, blood and tears.....and all you fuckers think that things will be served on silver platters as and when...my asss..

The world ticks me off..yeah it does.....why da fuck does every individual have to be so freaking selfish....

Two fucking years and Mission yet not accomplished.......Hmmmmm......Fuck U !!!!

My Lord melts rock whilst the evil one can only melt butter !!! (teeehheeehheee)

This posting was actually meant to be done yesterday...but unfortunately...the wicked old one didn't want me to share the good news.....that it didn't get posted.....Who does he think he is.....he has no control of my flesh, blood or my very soul...he is out of my life...I am purified by the blood of my Lord almighty.....my tattered...dirty rugged vengeful garments are washed clean......the wicked lil rat can attack me from left, right and centre...but he shall not let see me fall...for now I stand tall in the name of my mighty farther.....the only one who did not judge me...the only one who forgave me with all his heart.....and took me back from the puddle of mud I was swimming in circles....like a blind bat with broken wings....

I was weakand weighed down.....he invited me to weep in his arms...and leave all my sorrow,hurt, anger and my heavy burden at his feet so that he can squash it all away with one trod.....He did not ask me anything in return...he did't demand my time...my money.....nothing at all....he only asked me to open my heart so that he can walk in....NO.....not to control me.....not to use me...but to give me happiness, joy and peace....to put a smile on my face...forever.....to melt the tears which never touched my cheecks...and to melt the heart that never felt.....He doesn't force me to stay.....but I know that he yearns for my loyalty & my faithfulness......

I fled from the luxury of his magnificient palace once...you think I'm a fool to flee again....U lil demonic rat...thou shall not be allowed to even touch a single strand of my hair.....let alone take over my soul......I am a child of god...and I always will be.....I will bite the hand that disillusioned me...I promise you that......you shall not walk the same path I walk or where ever I have layed my eyes or walked my feet.......You shall not have a single to chance to mess with any one of the souls I know.....I will torment you and make you beg for mercy......

Leave all your burdens at My Masters feet.....and lay thy head on his shoulders....He will lead you where you have to go.....for he & he alone holds the present & the future........

God Bless you !!!

Its Good to be Rocking With da Lord dan Alone !!!

Life is as usual..a hectic rolercoaster......but Its amazing how peaceful it is to be walking with the Lord...The most amazing things are happening in my life....The tears which I never knew existed are flowing freely from my eyes again..(This may sound dramatic..but this is the truth)....Satanism is no Joke....it makes you cold and hard hearted...feelingless and evil....its takes away your soul.....

I harbour no anger...everyting is washed away....I know that for sure...No...I ain't dangerous anymore....I promise....

Give the man upstairs a chance...make it not a half hearted chance....and he will see you through.....I promise you that.....I who thot that one needs to have control of everything wround him including himself...tells you that there is a greater power than yourself.....It's tried and tested...Satanism is a piped dream itself.....not worth it...Astrology is a freaking lie too.....A big fat lie...

Its a lil hard not to ask a person's date of birth before getting to know him/her....but figured it ain't worth it....just not worth it..coz at the end of the day..no astro or occult has power over the might one I got to know......

HATE ME FOR CHANGING MY RELIGION.....and all I can do is love you till you come and taste the truth of life. Take a sip ...and I promise you..u'll want more....

God Bless you !!!

Not exactly revived from the dead !!!

Ups & Downs & All arounds....it sucks when life weighs you down....and no I still can't get myself to depend on the man upstairs......I wish I do reember him when I'm in trouble..but the prob is I don't.....hmmm

Well about writing a whole loada crap on my journal....does it really matter to others.....If one wants to read it, they are free to do so..but if one looks down upon what I write...it sure ain't my business..and it wouldn't stop me from writing...I write for a purpose...and definetely not novels, fairy tales with happy endings or fiction, but about the raw adventures of my life.....Bullimia, Anorexia, SAD, Stanism, Occult on the whole....ups and downs.....

Please if anyone has ever gone through the above..I'd love to have a chat with you....I write so that ppl will relaise how follish it is to turn away from life's natural path......I turned away..hit the ground and wasted more than 6 years of my precious youth.....But I don't regret a freaking second.....But I could have done better without...hehehe...

Plz...try not to read what I write and bad mouth it....Read it if it inspires you...read it if you are curious....send me a msg if you want help or wanna know n e thing more.......and PLEAZE...don't dare read it if it offends you..don't even bother....

Yeah..I write about ppl in my life..ppl who come and go..ppl whom I treasure...ppl I detest....and about ppl I love.....But no names are disclosed...But if I do feel like it..I just might...so try not to harp too much about about what I write....

I still own a few souls...like it or not...the time hasn't still come to release em...I don't know when...so hang in there and hope for the best.......

The first guy I ever loved with all my heart is moving on....moving on to settling down...but little does he know that I still own his soul...I wanna let go and throw it away and watch it smash to the ground...but no I can't...atleast not yet....so..he can move on...but a part of him will always be with me....until I release it in my time....A proper appology is all it takes......hehehehe.....I pity the woman who is after him....I really do......

Biliving that I just might be dangerous is may be a lil difficult to biliv...but I am......so watch out...don't mess with me...u can tare me down....pin me to the ground...but I'll rise and shine right in front of your eyes..blinding you for eternity.....