The Last of The Mysterious Year 2009

After a topsy turvy day and quite a night of shopping all I want to do is eat my veggies and hit the sack, but I am determined to give the due respect year 2009 deserves the only way I know how..... Recollect & Ponder.....

First, Second & Third Quarter
Just as much as I wanted to land my ass in the beautiful, yet lonely islands of Maldives, I got my semi-permanent residency (inconsistent, unsecure, employer dependent) in the land of sand & camels. It was a tough fist quarter trying to juggle exams and work, but I made it, though I flunked the exams in style. Do I regret it??? Not One Bit !!!!
I don’t remember much other than work, shopping, dining out and a messy relationship which wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place. An uneventful, bland and boring year one would say. Nonsense !! I would say...........The people I’ve met, the places I’ve been and the things I’ve seen during these 9 months has managed to entirely change the way I would have got about life otherwise.

September

September was a purring month.....Found something I’ve been looking for almost all my life (though I haven’t a clue what to make of it) & got a lil more money in my hands (coz the good employer decided to throw a hike my way).

October/ November
Shifted to the much awaited new office in Sharjah which has an amazing view, though work was hazy. I had finished a good quarter century and was stepping in to November crunching evil number 26 (of course its just a number). Stayed away from work for a day due to an all time low for the first time in three years while in camel land. It felt terrible just as much as it felt good. It was good to feel a little, to love and live a little.

I was definitely floating away on cloud No. 9, but the only problem was that cloud No. 9 was floating a little too close to the ground. I had to always watch out for bumps and jerks and I was tired of doing so. All the huffing and puffing I could have done wasn’t going to lift the cloud any higher rather it would have jolly well got me sitting on the ground instead of on the cloud. I had two options, to hop on to cloud No. 10 and see where it took me, or to sit on cloud No. 9 and patiently wait until it kick started it’s journey towards Neverland, which I damn well knew it would and the latter was exactly what I did. I don’t regret to this date the choice I had made.

December
A few days before, during my much valued jog, I couldn’t help pondering about the best things this year had offered me.

1. Three amazing friends I would hold dear for life. Never having been blessed with female friends, it felt good to finally have some.
2. Light at the end of the tunnel.
3. An amazing job, which I had fallen head over heals in love with.

There are some people who you meet on the way who you would be detached to but yet be attached to in a strange way. There is one such individual who randomly walked in to the office and inspired me in his own little way, just when I needed it the most. I was living a dangerous lifestyle with no breakfast and a heavy dinner with very little exercise for over 6 years. He talked me in to a healthy lifestyle almost over night, which was shocking even to me. With a solid breakfast, plenty veggies for dinner, fruits as a substitute for chocolates, zilch aerated beverages and a jogging routine I feel like a million dollars.

After a glass of wine and vodka I am tipsy enough to say that I am dying to suck year 2010 through a straw. I can feel it in my veins that it is going to be more than just a swell year.

A Boy Named D..........

I’ve kept a man on a very high pedestal for almost 13+ years, an image I’ve drooled over from afar, not knowing how to make a connection. After dating a few guys who resembled him, of course finding them all not up to the mark, making friends with another few who resembled him simply coz I knew that I just might almost never bump in to him in this short life span of mine. There was even a time that my car was named after him, until I forgot all about him for a while. Amidst all the fun, frolick, eye candy and chew candy I was filling my life with it felt like my soul could never move on without knowing what he was made of and what he was all about, which drove me to begin the nonsensical search all over again.

Did I find him???? YES, in an godforsaken island in europe !!! Was it worth it??? I don’t know at all.......

The strange man he is, blowing hot onetime and blowing cold another, has abused my patience beyond dry……do I feel anything for him even now, after all those years???? Yess…Yess…Yes…..Am I going to do anything about it? As usual NO!! Then what is it all about? It’s just the thrill of the chase, it always has been and always will be…

Cuts Like a Knife

That’s what life has turned out to be. I’m tired of the show, but can’t seem to find the curtain to end the episode. The more mature one gets, the less complicated life is supposed to be, but it just doesn’t seem to be so in my world.

I am not in love, but am purely in love with the high I get out of love, and that’s a fact. It’s like weed. Let it tease your senses and it keeps you on a permanent high. What love is, I simply don’t comprehend anymore. I am beginning to feel what I haven’t felt in centuries, but whether they are right or wrong, I wouldn’t know, neither do I want to find out, since them feelings, they shall die a natural death, un dealt with and unspoken .

I wanna find out, where does he come from, where does he go? What goes through his mind, but I fear what I might find, therefore, let it never be found !

What Leads One To Break What He Strived To Make?

After trying to break up with the good sir for the 10th time (for all I remember), I’m back at square one, showering ‘Love You’s’. This is when you dread hairpin bends, even though the road is wide and your tyres are tight.

Nasty boorish bosses, sick & unethical work atmospheres swallowing you whole, six fucking days a week makes you wanna throw up stomach acid to burn a whole nation down.

I swore to myself I wouldn’t bring any work home, I swore over a hundred times yester-fucking-day, but here I am doing the same old forbidden deed.

Little do they know you aren’t from the same realm as they are. They screw you over giving you three times the opportunity to do the same to them. Work has never angered me this much. Anger makes me work harder and faster. Anger builds more energy, more energy to swallow another’s soul. Energy builds and energy destroys and I wait for my time and turn to destroy !

Back On Track !!!

A few minutes after breaking up with the so-called-beau, I’m switching between Dubai 92 and TNL Rocks, hoping and praying they’d play some hardcore shit, simply because I’m looking for a surprise and not something out of my music collection. I wish I had a pack of smokes in hand along with a few sticks of weed.

I look back at life and wonder how I ended up here, coz it all feels like a dream, definitely not a nightmare, but an amazingly twisted dream. With a bunch of investors in my hand, something is still holding me back with regard to the launch of ‘Skorpius’ in UAE. Worst of all, I’m beating myself down at work more with an ulterior motive of punishing myself for not paying the same due respect for my own business four years back.

It’s time to get myself a tattoo and get that 8v Mustang I always wanted, beginning with applying for my UAE driving license next month. Who the fuck can handle a toned down life….wild was what I was and wild will what I always will be and if any man wants me to be anything other than that….SCREW HIM ! I ain’t anyone’s pet pumkin !!!!

How the fuck do I successfully attract free riders, scroungers and employers who take the mickey outa me every single freaking time? How the fuck do I reverse the energies I attract?

Trade your Wife for a Modern Apartment !!!

Sri Lanka has definitely been robbed of the cream of the industry. The question is ‘should we be amused or saddened?’

I Think I Might Blog A Lil More This Year ;)

Plenty blog entries written and stored away without being posted simply because they sound doleful and pathetic with more than a pinch of self pity, but this I am determined to write and post amidst all laziness.

Been in Sri Lanka since beginning of November and it’s making me want to plant myself here for good, though I know I must leave in order to achieve my so-called goals. As at now everything seems to be muddled up that I can hardly think. You misunderstand love, life and everything that surrounds you, even though you’re just not supposed to be getting them wrong at this age. They use you and use you, they manipulate your understanding nature, they think you’re ignorant, when all the while you grit your teeth and watch and wonder what they’re intentions are. They think they got you wrapped around their little finger when all you did was pretend and stayed on just to find out where the ride ended. Do you pass off as a hypocrite? Maybe…..It all feels worthless coz they won’t change or budge, they’ll just slip back to being who they are, the blissfully ignorant scroungers.

They all say that a Scorpio forgives, but never forgets, not by choice, but by default. The truth is that a Scorpio is actually incapable of forgetting. They judge every word you say, watch every move you make and link it together with every situation that takes place in front of their eyes which concerns you and themselves. What do you know….they are molded to do so for their own good.

I’m waiting for my call to go back to camel land, but I’m surely gonna miss everything I’m leaving behind. Men are not real men unless they are Sri Lankan and vouch I can on that! One whole year or more with no native curry I’m gonna walk back to SL like a character off Monster Inc. No camel jokey can or will never match up to the sarong wearing, filth swearing, tough mother feather the Sri Lankan lad is brought up to be.

Over all its been quite a adventurous 2008 and I cannot help but ask the higher powers to throw my way an equally eventful 2009, coz who wants’ to settle for comfort zones and an easy way out. The tougher the challenge the stronger you get and the more fun you have.