It's been awhile since I updated the blog. Wasn't in an expressive mood the past week. I faltered once more, but guess it put an end to the last evil bondage in me. It ain't a life long struggle to get out of darkness, it really isn't. But it sure takes quite awhile. My mind is messed up...way messed up (right now). Guilt doesn't come over me anymore when I falter, It's hurt....hurt in my soul....shame that I've hurt my blessed master....The one who loves me dearly.....the one who shed his very blood for me......
Had a chat with a friend who I had lost touch with for a couple of years, this Friday..the whole topic was about being unequally yoked with a non-believer. I found it so right some years back, but now I find it so wrong. But she, who found it wrong some years back, is compromising on the point. A Christian ain't a living breathing human being who goes by the book, there are no laws that bind them. A Christian is a being made in the mighty ones own image who walks in the love of the Lord....he leads, we follow. We are not to trust our own strength or our own instincts. We fall, they make us fall, we make our selves fal,but rise up again and walk in his love....walk strong, straight and tall.
Conviction :- As I write this, something came over me..I couldn't take it any longer....The sin I had committed had to be confessed, I was ashamed to face my heavenly father directly...I just couldn't.All I could do was call my mentor and cry.....though I didn't state the calibre of the sin, I knew that he understood, thank God for all the Godly people he's brought in to my life...He didn't rub in the wound, he didn't condemn me,he didn't judge me.....he reminded me that God's forgiveness was inexhaustible.
1 John 1 : 7-9
7 But, if we are living in the light of God's presence, just as Christ does, then we have wonderful fellowship and joy with each other, and the blood of Jesus his Son, cleanses us from every sin.
8 if we say that we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves, and refusing to accept the truth.
9 But if we confess our sins to him he can be depended on to forgive us and cleanse us from every wrong.
[And it is perfectly proper for God to do this fro us because Christ dies to wash away our sins]
I hate myself for letting the wrong conquer (no, don't tell me that I am harsh on myself....how can I strive to be good and give permission for the bad to dwell in me) ?
I've never been this convicted before, The area in my life that kept me away from God is broken, I feel it and I know it for sure. I cried out to the Lord before I fell......I begged him to keep me away. It was for me to choose, I had the choice and I chose evil.... Forgive me God, for I have sinned.
It annoys me when non believer speaks against God coz I know the truth and have no way of making them see it.The comments I received from them vary from :-
(1) I don't think there is a God as such, just a higher power who can take any form.
(2) There exists no God, it's all in the head.
(3) There is no eternal life elsewhere....so live the life you've got to the fullest.
(4) There ain't no miracles, just coincidences.
They can't prove my beleif to be wrong, coz I've seen it to believe it. I know it ain't blind faith any more.I feel it..I feel his perfect redemption. It is sweet to be loved by him.
I have no anger, no revenge on what happened, just a striving spirit of struggle to keep away. The power of lust, the power of seduction followed me till now, but by his grace, I know I have broken all of em bondages. No more am I a slave of darkness, no more am I a slave of blindness. I wan't all his blessing, not just a part of it...I want to be his and he be mine, I ain't ready to share my love with the world and lose my privileges, and none can take it away either. The worldly are wolves in sheep skin, the good, bad and the evil, none is to be trusted, none, not one. It ain't wrong to be paranoid, coz there sure is an ulterior motive behind all of em glittering like gold. I am none to judge, but I own the right to be careful.
May the love of God be with you !!!
Had a chat with a friend who I had lost touch with for a couple of years, this Friday..the whole topic was about being unequally yoked with a non-believer. I found it so right some years back, but now I find it so wrong. But she, who found it wrong some years back, is compromising on the point. A Christian ain't a living breathing human being who goes by the book, there are no laws that bind them. A Christian is a being made in the mighty ones own image who walks in the love of the Lord....he leads, we follow. We are not to trust our own strength or our own instincts. We fall, they make us fall, we make our selves fal,but rise up again and walk in his love....walk strong, straight and tall.
Conviction :- As I write this, something came over me..I couldn't take it any longer....The sin I had committed had to be confessed, I was ashamed to face my heavenly father directly...I just couldn't.All I could do was call my mentor and cry.....though I didn't state the calibre of the sin, I knew that he understood, thank God for all the Godly people he's brought in to my life...He didn't rub in the wound, he didn't condemn me,he didn't judge me.....he reminded me that God's forgiveness was inexhaustible.
1 John 1 : 7-9
7 But, if we are living in the light of God's presence, just as Christ does, then we have wonderful fellowship and joy with each other, and the blood of Jesus his Son, cleanses us from every sin.
8 if we say that we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves, and refusing to accept the truth.
9 But if we confess our sins to him he can be depended on to forgive us and cleanse us from every wrong.
[And it is perfectly proper for God to do this fro us because Christ dies to wash away our sins]
I hate myself for letting the wrong conquer (no, don't tell me that I am harsh on myself....how can I strive to be good and give permission for the bad to dwell in me) ?
I've never been this convicted before, The area in my life that kept me away from God is broken, I feel it and I know it for sure. I cried out to the Lord before I fell......I begged him to keep me away. It was for me to choose, I had the choice and I chose evil.... Forgive me God, for I have sinned.
It annoys me when non believer speaks against God coz I know the truth and have no way of making them see it.The comments I received from them vary from :-
(1) I don't think there is a God as such, just a higher power who can take any form.
(2) There exists no God, it's all in the head.
(3) There is no eternal life elsewhere....so live the life you've got to the fullest.
(4) There ain't no miracles, just coincidences.
They can't prove my beleif to be wrong, coz I've seen it to believe it. I know it ain't blind faith any more.I feel it..I feel his perfect redemption. It is sweet to be loved by him.
I have no anger, no revenge on what happened, just a striving spirit of struggle to keep away. The power of lust, the power of seduction followed me till now, but by his grace, I know I have broken all of em bondages. No more am I a slave of darkness, no more am I a slave of blindness. I wan't all his blessing, not just a part of it...I want to be his and he be mine, I ain't ready to share my love with the world and lose my privileges, and none can take it away either. The worldly are wolves in sheep skin, the good, bad and the evil, none is to be trusted, none, not one. It ain't wrong to be paranoid, coz there sure is an ulterior motive behind all of em glittering like gold. I am none to judge, but I own the right to be careful.
May the love of God be with you !!!
2 comments:
Hello Judy.
Thanx for the comments on my blog. As for the bitter truth. i cant share it like that. i cant share it over a blog. i've told some of my closest friends. but they dont value it. who values anything when u hand it over to them on a platter no matter how valuable it is. if u are any different from the rest of those ppl living out their 'normal' lives( and dont think i'm phycho writing like this now) then maybe we should have a chat. razorameen@hotmail.com
Hi lady. Glad to see an update.. finally :P It was getting a little stale. You say that it annoys you when a non-believer tries to discredit what you say, because you *know* the truth. Well think about it from their point of view. As far as they're concerened, they think they know the truth and they stick to their guns. In the end it's a deadlock. I think it's much easier to live and let live and try to convince someone who doesn't want to be convinced. I won't say you're harsh on yourself, but we do slip from time to time. We're not perfect after all, are we? Shit happens to the best of us... We are all tempted by bright and shiny things and sometimes we just have to reach out and touch or we won't be satisfied. But the moment we do, we catch ourselved and we realise what we have done is wrong, and we know the the next time we will be more vigilent and to not let something like that happen again. But despite our best efforts, it just might. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that, we're just human. You yourself said that you're an ordinary pixie... so be one :)
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