You suddenly sit and wonder why you are alone......and why you let him slip past you? :( U know he holds vengence in his heart...you know that he detests you coz you let him go......but what else could you have done............it hurts o wathch the one you love get hurt by you......U think they r better off without you......u hope and pray they's realise it some day..........
U want to still be their friend.....their very best freind....you want to share their ups and downs...you love them...you love them too much, that you don't want them n e where close to your pathetic life..........
They accuse you for seeing another....you let them biliv what they want......if only they knew why? hmmm............. blame me for not speaking up? blame me for not speaking the truth..I'm sorry....if I did .......... U & I would never be what we are.........no I ain't another biach..........Just a woman who hungers for..........
Speaking of hunger......yes there was a time I was hungry for your soul and thirsty for your blood.......I wanted your blood running in my veins instead of your own.....I wanted to live in your soul and watch every thought, word & deed.......coz it felt like we were not 2 but one.............but no not n e more....I had to go....had to leave you....I had to leave you before I possessed you....before I could show you what my world is really made of...Or may be..just may be..I realised that you didn't want to make an attempt to open them iron gates and walk in to my world.......
It too late now.....things have gone from sour to stale.........I harbour no anger......but I cry for you to know the truth....I want you to know that you were everything in my life.....and I miss every minute we spent together.....It's amazing how you made me feel.....It's amazing how I suddenly wanted to love some one with all my heart, wanting nothing back..........but yes.....you did start playing with my paranoid mind.......just when I started to love you and trust you with all my heart........
You opened the doors of my secret garden, where I was once locked up in chains..........you showd me reality, light & the truth...........I don't know whether to blame you or thank you....coz reality is harsh..and I can't handle this brightness..I just can't.....the truth keeps striking me in my eyes and making me blind to drakness...the lil dark corners I used to hide are all lit up.....where do I hide now....who shall protect me....not that you would have offered my soul n e security......but your flesh and blood did put my world at peace.......Thank you for loving me...loving me and hating me......they say theres just a thin line between love and hate......I understand how u feel.......U feel betrayed....lied to......I'm sorry.......but my reasons were pure.........
My only hope is for you to know and love the lord before you close your eyes.....your life ain't long baby.....so is mine......repent and love him..love him more than you loved me....(I felt your love...the first time I truely felt love....)....but gods love is sweeter.....sweet as honey....sweeter than yours.......his blessing can be compared to your honey suckle kisses......but em blessing come in showers.......and its pure and saliva free (",)
Oh myy gosh..Imagine if I begin to enter the names of the I deidicate my journal pages to...ahaha utter chaos.......hehehe.....The thot did cross my mind...but nah.....I'm kidding......suspense...sweet suspense...let me torture you with suspense
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