Another lazy, laid back, but very productive day. Mum was at home, so couldn’t really use the internet lavishly due to numerous interruptions from her wanting to make phone calls. Hmmm….Last night was horrifying, absolutely horrifying. The facts and figures I was researching the whole afternoon haunted me for hours. I couldn’t read any more, my eyes were aching, but keeping the book aside and concentrating on sleep only got my mind wondering in unwanted direction. The most obscure eerie thoughts ran across my mind. My mind was not at peace, my body was not in control of it’s self, a sharp pain was running vertically back and forth my right arm and leg. I had the choice of continuing to read the Da Vinci Code or The Bible. I gave up on relying on the comfy mattress to do me any good tonight. Was aimlessly browsing through the net till the break of dawn, when I finally figured that neither my brain nor body could hold me straight any longer.
Woke up around mid afternoon, only to find Mummy dearest scurrying around the house, yapping at everyone for not helping her to get prepared for Christmas. Cakes, Christmas Decor, Christmas Trees mean nothing but utter BUNKEM to me. As for all the carols, “Absolute Gibberish”. Wait till I have a house and family of my own, every day would be Christmas, every day would be Valentines Day and there simply would not be any special occasions, including ghostly memorials and almsgivings. Birthdays are exceptional, I like em.
I feel weird, I’ve suddenly started looking at the world in a very different point of view and looks like my mental gear ain’t equipped enough to comprehend the new phase I’ve stepped in to. The problem that vexes me still lingers. The creature I am in love with is tagged to be sexually inclined the contrary way. They are rumours, suspicions, wild guesses and odd doubts of those around me. There is absolutely no proof I hold to actually making “THE” statement as to what he actually is, other than the printouts of a series of emails I treasure, which I possessed by hacking in to his email. I’ve pondered on confrontation, but this would only bring out the CON ARTIST in him back to play. Predicting his actions and reactions have become easier than it was for me to learn my Alphabet when I was a weenie babe, coz he is me, a replica of my ancient inner self.
Christmas means nothing more to me than to silently give praise to the My Master for giving his only begotten Son, to save a scoundrel like me and not forgetting the importance of driving ultra carefully down the rough roads all the way to the God forsaken bakery to bake the massive trays of Yucky Christmas cake (I don’t like Christmas cake)…..Hmmmphhh……
I cry for no purpose, tears roll down my cheek at night, and I simple don’t know why? I keep looking for something intangible and precious, which I don’t seem to find. NO…..it definitely ain’t LOVE, nothing as simple as that, coz no amount of love would or could possibly satisfy my burring soul. It scares me to suddenly jolt from a cavernous day dream and feel fire blazing out of my ear. Crazy as it sounds, this feeling I feel I simply cannot explicate !!!
Woke up around mid afternoon, only to find Mummy dearest scurrying around the house, yapping at everyone for not helping her to get prepared for Christmas. Cakes, Christmas Decor, Christmas Trees mean nothing but utter BUNKEM to me. As for all the carols, “Absolute Gibberish”. Wait till I have a house and family of my own, every day would be Christmas, every day would be Valentines Day and there simply would not be any special occasions, including ghostly memorials and almsgivings. Birthdays are exceptional, I like em.
I feel weird, I’ve suddenly started looking at the world in a very different point of view and looks like my mental gear ain’t equipped enough to comprehend the new phase I’ve stepped in to. The problem that vexes me still lingers. The creature I am in love with is tagged to be sexually inclined the contrary way. They are rumours, suspicions, wild guesses and odd doubts of those around me. There is absolutely no proof I hold to actually making “THE” statement as to what he actually is, other than the printouts of a series of emails I treasure, which I possessed by hacking in to his email. I’ve pondered on confrontation, but this would only bring out the CON ARTIST in him back to play. Predicting his actions and reactions have become easier than it was for me to learn my Alphabet when I was a weenie babe, coz he is me, a replica of my ancient inner self.
Christmas means nothing more to me than to silently give praise to the My Master for giving his only begotten Son, to save a scoundrel like me and not forgetting the importance of driving ultra carefully down the rough roads all the way to the God forsaken bakery to bake the massive trays of Yucky Christmas cake (I don’t like Christmas cake)…..Hmmmphhh……
I cry for no purpose, tears roll down my cheek at night, and I simple don’t know why? I keep looking for something intangible and precious, which I don’t seem to find. NO…..it definitely ain’t LOVE, nothing as simple as that, coz no amount of love would or could possibly satisfy my burring soul. It scares me to suddenly jolt from a cavernous day dream and feel fire blazing out of my ear. Crazy as it sounds, this feeling I feel I simply cannot explicate !!!
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